how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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