So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
