That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
oh god the rape fog is back!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize