that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Randomize
