U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
