It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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