I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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