i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
