Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
