Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
