Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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