Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want to make a zoo with you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
