They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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