did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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