and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
