gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
