By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
