Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
