I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
