matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
