i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
