Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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