Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
