don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
