how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
