Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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