Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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