i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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