Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
