wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
