I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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