And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
