It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
