Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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