I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
