We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
