i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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