forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Are we still banned from the library?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
