Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
