I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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