I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
