Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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