She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
