There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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