im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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