dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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