That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
