just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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