in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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