Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
