awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
